By: Kate Ginger
Art by: Lauren Kang
i’m facedown in the snow and
your hands never felt kinder
under my skin
remember whenyouscorchedmyback
and told me i flew too close to the sun
should have listened to you, daddy
instead my shoulder blades bulge into wings
and i land on the moon
in a crater of forgone conclusions
how dare you s h a t t e r me once,
and pocket my underwear
ice in the fireplace
the price of forgiveness
i’m lost again
i can’t remember the shade of your eyes
metaphorically in your arms
fingers
laced
with
poison
the color of
infatuation
the feeling of
biting
your lip the taste of
burning
don’t dear diary me
then make me “daddy” you what–
. about the dishes stacked
once s t a c k e d
in the cupboard
s h a t tered on the kitchen tile
don’t you remember
forgiveness is a vial of blood
and misplaced intentionality
i put you back together
black hole baby
i’m sorry for my un welcome tears
im h o l d i n g onto youholdingme
why can’t i leave
a bruise
i’m drowning—
you need me to be
born again,
wings and all
this time
be careful of the sun
you said
remember when
you hurled my regret
into the gaping hole in your chest
you’re picking up shards of glass
from that night
wheneverything s h a t t e r e d
busted on the rim
of desire
your hand brushed my cheek
and yanked a chandelier from the ceiling
i’m ripe and rotting
in a pile of crushed cans
and soiled dreams
mangled by love, coddled by guilt
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